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aramuse

Me, Horses, Rock & Roll, Bruce, Horses, Getting Older and Coming Full Circle

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I may regret posting this and end up removing it at some point, and then I wonder if many of my long time pals here will relate but on their own terms.  What I found amazing is how there's a meaningful Bruce timeline in my life . 

Go ahead, try it - - - so does yours.  But I'll see how I feel in a couple hours -and just remember this is way way from the heart, and edited minimally.

 

Me, Horses, Rock & Roll,  Bruce, Horses, Getting Older and Coming Full Circle

 

Since 1977 I have not missed Bruce when he came to L.A.;  in the early days if he did 3-4 shows we’d be there every night.  I worked in entertainment, in fact at one time I worked for tour managers doing tour coordinating for the likes of Queen, Rod Stewart, Fleetwood Mac and Elton John, so I was fortunate to have access to some good seats throughout.   I was at the Halloween show at the Sports Arena back in about 1980 when Bruce was brought out in a casket and reached for his guitar from the dead, and two guys in the audience were dressed like the Czechoslovakian  Swingers  - and as “two wild and crazy guys” stayed in character all night.  And during the break (yeah he had a break in those days) someone would always bring a huge beach ball and it would go around the arena.  And my first show without Clarence with the empty ‘throne’ and Bruce walking us through the loss…yup I was there.   Too, like many others I made it my mission to take as many of my friends to their first Bruce show over the years.

Here we are almost 40 years later nearing our mid-sixties, and Bruce being the original inspiration for the energizer bunny just can’t stay off the road;  personally I think he misses us as much as we miss him.  The short tour announced just before Christmas now extends through summer – like we didn’t know THAT was gonna happen.

Now let me explain  and just stick with me.  I was born with a passion for horses.  I think my first full sentence was , ‘where’s my fucking pony????” But I grew up in Chicago, lived in the city so I was fortunate to ride once a year. My passion for horses was interrupted by four guys from Liverpool.  The music consumed me and I moved from Chicago to L.A. at the age of 21 (1974)so I could work in the industry.   That is just what I did until about 1985;  I was working at Motown Records when Born to Run came out – my first Bruce show was that same year at the University of CA, Santa Barbara in the gymnasium.  Thus started the first steps into a new fork in the road.

  Then Darkness (remember how long we waited)and The River Tour?  Hell yeah---3 shows or was it 4 at the L.A. Sports Arena .   Then there were shows at the Coliseum – I got tickets for 3 nights, and after the first night I sold the rest.  I have never been to a coliseum show again.  I cannot tell a lie;   I never did get to any solo shows or Seger Sessions. I did make it to the Lucky Town/Human Touch tour minus The E Street Band??  I missed them – it was that simple.  . Somewhere around the time  BORN IN THE USA was released my original passion began to nag at my soul again. In 1983 I turned 30, was still working in rock and roll industry,  and oddly enough one of my boss’ wives had horses, and the door opened again and this time I went in full force and have remained.

At the same time I left the rock and roll business – uhm, I remember saying, “I don’t want to be 40 still doing rock and roll.”   Looking back I just want to smack the little shit who said that!!!   However, the funny part is I ended up spending the next 12 years working with Catholic nuns and a nonprofit foundation that awarded funds  to the work of Catholic Sisters all over the world.  I loved that job and I met some of the most amazing women.  I was all set to take one of them to her first Bruce show but it never panned out.   I spent 3 meetings a year in the presence of nuns and Cardinal Roger Mahony and my sister and my friends wondered how I lasted  in those meetings with my colorful, truck driver language.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

In 1993  my eyes were opened and my education began in the abuse of my beloved horses .  It was a pivotal moment but there’s no need to go into detail, except to say I was the founder   and director of a breed specific horse rescue  for several years. 

My favorite part was when I was threatened with a lawsuit by a major agricultural college for defaming them – I told the truth about them dumping some treasured mares (which were, by the time of the threat,  at my house) destined for slaughter, and thus the truth in fact was defaming but it WAS the truth.  However, I cannot lie I enjoyed the fight (it’s a Sixties thing!).  In 1999-2000 – the return of the E Street Band tour?  The board members of my non-profit gifted me with scalper bought tickets    Even when I stopped the formal rescue to go back to enjoying my horses  I continued, to this very day, to be a magnet for certain cases, but I’m good at it.

Then 9/11 – and THE RISING.  I recently started putting together a program of equine therapy for veterans and I call it RISE.  Oh yeah, there’s a connection between my two passions showing , huh?    I don’t know about you, but a year  after 9/11 I was still reeling and aching and THE RISING Tour was the beginning of being able to move on a bit. We were still wondering if it was ok to sing, laugh and dance in the aisles again, and slowly over that time and thanks to that tour and those songs we learned that it was.

But things continue to change – dealing with the suicide of someone I loved resulted in my moving in 2006 from L.A. to a bit more rural area of Southern CA, and yes, I took into consideration I would now have to drive 100 plus miles for Bruce concerts.  In the last ten years I’ve done it more than once, and with the move came a few new folks who had to get to their first Bruce show.  I have continued that mission.

The getting older and the shock that it  brings when you think about it continues for me and my friends.  How the hell did we hit 60?  63?  And friggin’ 66?  Not even gonna talk about grey hair!   But I live on a friends 8 acre ranch, work in Palm Springs for some wonderful folks (who have been to two Bruce shows with me!) and wonder how the hell I’m gonna make it through the retirement years.   You see, like many of my friends I continue to have horses in my life – and with the economy and over breeding—I have two more than I am comfortable with financially, but I persevere to keep them safe.   Many people I know have one or two more than they should.

  One of mine is a horse I rescued in 1998 and placed in a sanctuary where he lived for 15 years until I got a call in mid-2014 that he was in trouble because the sanctuary was going under.  He came home.   The amazing thing is I went to see him for the first time in those 15 years, and he knew it was me before I knew it was him. He heard my voice, his head flew up from grazing and he just stared – never took his eyes off me.  Even now when I am out there his eyes follow me wherever I go .  I lived my very own last chapter of Black Beauty man – it was every little horse crazy girls’ dream. 

That brings us to today – two weeks away from 3 shows in L.A.  I still have one little string connection to rock and roll, and put in an order for two tickets.  Something gnawed at me as even though Bruce has always tried to keep ticket prices down – they are $150 now.  I’m working, but I am not making what I used to, and $150 is 10 bales of hay!!!  I’ve gone back and forth about going, about spending the money – I committed and then I cancelled; then I put my name on the list and in the end next week there are 3 shows and I will not be there.  For the first time in 40 years I am not going – I had to make a choice, I went back and forth and in the end I can’t justify the expense.   Oh I dread the nights of the shows.  I have spent many a night sitting with a dozen or so of you at Greasy Lake laughing and anticipating the setlist call ins of shows all over the world --- and laughing until it hurt.  Waiting for Jungleland…The Promise and Incident.  Fun, silly and wonderful.

 

I started writing this in my head as I mulled my choice for a few days, and as I wrote it I had to laugh at how the  timeline of my life seemed to pretty much got from tour to tour and show to show.  It’s pathetic really, well, hell no it’s not – as I said before I am in my early sixties and while it just sucks – I wouldn’t have missed Beatles and Bruce for nothing.   Still it comes down to priorities, and I find it just fucking hard to believe I am not going - - - but I have to choose.  As I wrote this there was a song going through my head over and over and over - - - nope, not Jungleland or even Glory Days, or Tougher Than The Rest, in fact it wasn’t Bruce at all – the voice was Mary Travers and the song, Harry Chapin a song about circles, and things, people, dreams and events coming around again – I’ll do the right thing, I won’t totally like it but I will do it – next week as I’m picturing what’s going on at the Sports Arena and beat myself up a bit – I’ll walk out to the barn and listen to the content munching of hay, and walk from stall to stall feeling soft breath on my face all from five horses that are loved by me as I am and the little girl me that I was who  dreamed she’d have this  someday and who knows at least these five are safe from the harm that so many of them endure at the end.   

 

Now what’s that song again?

     

ALL MY LIFE'S A CIRCLE
Harry Chapin


All my life's a circle;
Sunrise and sundown;
Moon rolls thru the nighttime;
Till the daybreak comes around.

All my life's a circle;
But I can't tell you why;
Season's spinning round again;
The years keep rollin' by.

It seems like I've been here before;
I can't remember when;
But I have this funny feeling;
That we'll all be together again.
No straight lines make up my life;
And all my roads have bends;


There's no clear-cut beginnings;
And so far no dead-ends.

 

 

 

 

 

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Beautiful. 

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ohhhhhhhh thanks so much for shearing aramuse 

I always find what you ( ever so slightly)  older folk have to say always interesting  as my OH is your age group and you all relate to similar things growing up in the sixties

I adore the smell of horses 

I've never had one to ride but I've  had a neighbour  or two over the years with a retired horse who liked a pat and a carrot

when you go out to the barn tonight can you bury your face in someone's neck and take a big breath of horse for me because they have the most beautiful smell

I'm sorry you can't make the show but  your right

 hay for the horses is more important 

I think Bruce would get that 

 

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What a great read. It is amazing how Bruce is just a rock singer that makes albums and does concerts. But to us, he's more than that. It doesn't matter if you have been to one show or a hundred, it was a "moment"

We al lhave other passions, family, sports, church, traveling, music, photography, etc. And we do, yes we do, we put our other passions and wonder, "What would Bruce think?" or, "I got inspired by a Bruce song". 

The thing is, not everyone is a Bruce fan. They simply do not understand his music. And that is okay. We can all be fans of Guns & Roses, Pink Floyd, ACDC, Led Zepp, The Beatles, etc, but to me, being a Springsteen fan is like being a member of an exclusive club, we all know what BTR, DITD,WIESS means. Its a secret language.

I may not agree with your political views,  I may not agree with your views regarding science v religion, but if I ever get to meet you in person, the first coffee is on me.

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6 hours ago, Mark V said:

What a great read. It is amazing how Bruce is just a rock singer that makes albums and does concerts. But to us, he's more than that. It doesn't matter if you have been to one show or a hundred, it was a "moment"

We al lhave other passions, family, sports, church, traveling, music, photography, etc. And we do, yes we do, we put our other passions and wonder, "What would Bruce think?" or, "I got inspired by a Bruce song". 

The thing is, not everyone is a Bruce fan. They simply do not understand his music. And that is okay. We can all be fans of Guns & Roses, Pink Floyd, ACDC, Led Zepp, The Beatles, etc, but to me, being a Springsteen fan is like being a member of an exclusive club, we all know what BTR, DITD,WIESS means. Its a secret language.

I may not agree with your political views,  I may not agree with your views regarding science v religion, but if I ever get to meet you in person, the first coffee is on me.

YOU GOT IT!!!   Show tonight and then again Saturday, I am doing my best denial, I do not come here much, do NOT read setlists and just don't want to know. It's not easy to not be going.  My bosses are going tonight.   I think I am up to about 50 shows over the years give or take.

I thank those who read my story and 'got it'   --- I won't be deleting it.   To all of your attending shows over the next few month - - - have the best time ever.  Love you guys - yeah, I do...all those family members I've never met face to face, but still there's something that connects us.   God Bless.

My passion runs deep...

Caseyandmesmall.jpg

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That was a very moving and powerful post, your passion shone though.

I like horses myself, in fact i love them, although my reason is most likely different to yours, to see a thoroughbred racehorse in it's prime racing live is a joy to behold.

The power, grace and beauty of those animals never fails to impress me, to have a ride on a horse..maybe at Newmarket is one of my daft dreams.

 

Thanks for your post, i thought it was class

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Just now, wildbilla said:

one of the best thread I ever read. 

Thank you...you guys have been wonderful.  I had no idea NOT going would be difficult as it's been;  I won't even look at the setlist.  

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I love seeing these stream of consciousness' on here. You've got an amazing story and relationship with Bruce.

As a younger fan these ticket prices are just ticket prices to me. I would spend these nights fondly recalling shows you've been able to experience. 

Animals are always there to bring us back down to earth.

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On March 17, 2016 at 9:02 PM, the calvary said:

Beautiful. 

^^My feelings exactly^^

Thank You for sharing. Destiny was shining brightly upon those horses when they crossed your path. My daughter, before she moved up to Alaska a few years ago, volunteered at a ranch where they helped victims of child abuse, handicapped etc learn trust responsibility, cooperation, and mentoring through their time brushing, riding and caring for horses. 

Your story really touched me because you have reversed the role and care for the horses who have become victims. Such a kind heart you have, makes me happy you shared. Cheers....  and all those earlier Springsteen shows are something the under 60 set can never experience... you did and they were awe inspiring, I just about give up trying to explain to people what it was like to walk out of a theater after a Springsteen show in 1978. 

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Hard decision...but we know Jessica would approve of your priorities. :)

You have some very good memories to keep you company. 

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13 hours ago, Captain Puget said:

^^My feelings exactly^^

Thank You for sharing. Destiny was shining brightly upon those horses when they crossed your path. My daughter, before she moved up to Alaska a few years ago, volunteered at a ranch where they helped victims of child abuse, handicapped etc learn trust responsibility, cooperation, and mentoring through their time brushing, riding and caring for horses. 

Your story really touched me because you have reversed the role and care for the horses who have become victims. Such a kind heart you have, makes me happy you shared. Cheers....  and all those earlier Springsteen shows are something the under 60 set can never experience... you did and they were awe inspiring, I just about give up trying to explain to people what it was like to walk out of a theater after a Springsteen show in 1978. 

 

 

Captain Puget, yeah, remember walking out of a four hour show by the skinny scrawny little dude and that big black guy who could kick ass on the sax?  You knew you had just witnessed 'something' but it took a few more years for us to realize what, and then the fun began!  Yeah, even with all the aches and pains - I agree, being a part of that musical time was worth it! 

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1 hour ago, aramuse said:

 

 

Captain Puget, yeah, remember walking out of a four hour show by the skinny scrawny little dude and that big black guy who could kick ass on the sax?  You know you had just witnessed 'something' but it took a few more years for us to realize what, and then the fun began!  Yeah, even with all the aches and pains - I agree, being a part of that musical time was worth it! 

hahaha, yep the scrawny hyperactive kid with the big voice and complete obsession with getting the audiences full attention. And the Big Man that played the sax in a way that hit your soul a split second before your ears. Clarence has made me smile more than any performer on earth. The anticipation of Clarence made me smile. Writing the previous sentence makes me smile  :D:D:D!

 

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Just now, Captain Puget said:

hahaha, yep the scrawny hyperactive kid with the big voice and complete obsession with getting the audiences full attention. And the Big Man that played the sax in a way that hit your soul a split second before your ears. Clarence has made me smile more than any performer on earth. The anticipation of Clarence made me smile. Writing the previous sentence makes me smile  :D:D:D!

 

I get that....reading your comment about the previous sentence made ME smile!!!

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I am glad you felt the courage to post AND leave it here.   Baring one's soul and discussing priorities is very difficult, as it opens one to criticism about some of the things that we care about most deeply and passionately.

I have several passions in my life as well, one of which is Bruce.  Now, in my late 40's with 30+ years of fandom, I finally have the $$ and ability to follow that 20 year old's dream to follow Bruce for several months......but much like yourself, I have instead chosen to not do so.

I doubt very much of it is because of a LACK of passion for the music.  It feels more like a larger diversity of interests than I had 25 years ago, combined with the awareness one gets in their 40-50's that we really do have limited time to do the many things we love.  And sadly, most of us will pass away with unrealized wishes and hopes, it's simply the way of things. 

While I will see 2 shows on this portion of the US tour, I could have just as easily seen 10, but like you I had to make choices about what was most important at this moment and what deserved my energy, attention, money and time. 

I admire your determination and respect your decision, even though I don't know if I could bear the idea of a Springsteen show in my home town and me not being there. 

Apparently you are much stronger than I am :lol:

I also remember you being a part of the foundation of this community all those years ago, and how many friends we have made over the years, simply because of our passion for the music and the man who continues to bring us here.   Even though we have never met, I still think of you as a friend, and I am always glad to learn more about my friends, even things that surprise me!

I do hope someday, we will have one more chance to see a show together, simply to say we did

 

 

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I remember one night we were waiting for the setlist call in, and then "IT" finally happened, INCIDENT    and yeah AMIW was there and everything stopped as we waited to see if we needed to call the local authorities to do a welfare check.  Do not remember what show ...

 

I

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2 hours ago, aramuse said:

I remember one night we were waiting for the setlist call in, and then "IT" finally happened, INCIDENT    and yeah AMIW was there and everything stopped as we waited to see if we needed to call the local authorities to do a welfare check.  Do not remember what show ...

 

 

All you have to do is check Andrew's signature----that's also the night he earned the title "Official Incident Hearer"

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