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On 5/29/2021 at 9:40 PM, gsquare said:

Thought this story was good for a laugh.  Our previous dog Juno was just like this dog, couldn't leave the cicadas alone.

 

My name is Max, and I have a cicada problem

A tale of a dog who can’t stop eating the bugs

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My name is Max, and I’m a 13-month-old dachshund who loves to eat cicadas. And I’m not picky.

I eat cicadas that are alive with fluttering wings, dead cicadas that are stiff and dried-out, partially molted cicadas frozen in their exoskeletons, and I especially enjoy eating moist cicada nymphs fresh out of the ground.

I can even slurp cicada larvae from their tunnels in the ground faster than my owner can slurp spaghetti noodles off his dinner plate. Mmm.

Some of you may know that cicadas are an excellent food source, high in protein and low in fat, but sometimes their wings irritate my tummy.

When I get sick, it usually happens in the middle of the night after a long day of feasting. My owner always wakes up and rushes me into the bathroom. He must prefer to have my partially-digested cicada carcasses splatter on a tile floor instead of the deep pile carpet. I can’t imagine why.

In my younger days, back in March, I was fully potty-trained. Then, I had a daily routine to do my business on outside walks every morning, afternoon and evening.

But not now. There is no time to worry about trivial matters like going on potty walks when I can hunt cicadas instead. My priorities have changed.

Due to my new priorities and sudden, protein-rich diet, I lay down impressive poops on the family room floor.

Of course, my owner scolds me when I make a mess in the family room, but all I hear is, “blah blah blah.” I’m used to it now. I give him a look that says, “Oh, please, just clean it up and take me back outside so I can eat more cicadas.”

Two weeks ago, a muzzle arrived in the mail. My owner put it on me, and it clamped my mouth shut. How scary!

I ran around the living room in circles like I was in tremendous pain, pawing at my nose and looking downright pathetic. My owner was horrified, and he took off the muzzle, and I am sure he felt awful that he put me through such a dreadful ordeal. Then, five minutes later, I was outside with no muzzle eating cicadas.

A week later, another muzzle arrived in the mail, and this one felt comfortable. I trotted outside into the yard wearing my new muzzle and immediately spotted a cicada. I quickly used my paw to pull the muzzle below my mouth, and I swallowed the cicada in one bite. I thought my owner’s head was going to explode.

He ran over and tightened the muzzle as much as possible. Veins were bulging in his head as he grumbled.

When he walked away, I found another cicada in the grass. Once again, I tugged on the muzzle with my paw, and it popped off my face like the first time. Victory! I munched down another cicada and never saw that muzzle again.

Two days ago, a third muzzle arrived in the mail. This one felt comfortable, just like the last one. I confidently walked into the yard wearing the muzzle and spied a cicada. I pulled at the muzzle with my paw, but it was too snug to budge.

I didn’t panic. I calmly yanked on the muzzle with both feet simultaneously and rubbed my face on the ground. But I was still muzzled!

I then began to panic and frantically tried to eat cicadas through the muzzle. Oh, how I tried. The cicadas were so close I could taste them, but I couldn’t eat them. They would not squish through the mesh of the muzzle no matter how hard I pushed.

After a few minutes, cicadas began to perch on my muzzle when I tried to eat them. One cicada even landed on top of my muzzle and looked me in the eyes with a cold stare. But, of course, they all knew I was powerless to eat them.

It was so humiliating. Thank goodness none of them decided to mate on my muzzle. I don’t think I could have handled that.

Since I started wearing the snug-fitting muzzle on my walks, I have not eaten a single cicada. Not one! I’m pretty sure I’m losing weight, and I’m getting hungry because my belly isn’t full of those delicious, giant bugs.

I’ve decided my new, cicada-free life reminds me of an old movie my owner watched called “Gone with the Wind.” In that film, Scarlett O’Hara says, “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again.”

That’s me! I’m in the same situation as Scarlett, but imagine Scarlett hungry for cicadas and wearing a muzzle.

So from now on, I will be like Scarlett. “After all, tomorrow is another day.” For hunting cicadas, of course.

But in the meantime, I just left a big present in the family room to let my owner know I’m not happy with my muzzle. So he’ll get the message. He’s used to it by now.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/weather/2021/05/28/cicadas-dog-humor/

I laughed out loud reading this, I remember the cicadas from my visit to Missouri.

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I think Borris is cold and is such of winter

She hasn't come out of the linnen cupboard all day and neither of them liked their breakfast so she got dinner in bed

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
2 minutes ago, AMIW said:

Clifford the big red dog (not as big as @judygdogs );accidentally swallows a pug

@JudgeBrown calls for movie to be banned

https://ew.com/movies/clifford-the-big-red-dog-is-extremely-big-teaser-trailer/

 

They were great books when i was a kid

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I was born with the equine gene - growing up in the city of Chicago with middle class working folks didn't allow me to have them in my life until I was 30.  I never became the rider I dreamed of, but I found my niche in working with scared abused horses.  I loved being able to turn them around.   In 1997 I rescued on Arabian gelding who had bneen through some hell - in the end I sent him to live out his life at a sanctuary.  15 years later in 2014 I received a call that he was still there and they were going under...I went to get him and he recognized my voice after all those years before I recognized him.  He lived with me until last year and was 30 something.  The first photo is when I saw him the first time note the scars on his back - he was one week away from being shipped to slaughter;  second was taken in 2014 when he came back after 15 years and the last photo is the day I said goodbye last Christmas.  

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On 6/29/2021 at 5:37 PM, AMIW said:

Clifford the big red dog (not as big as @judygdogs );accidentally swallows a pug

@JudgeBrown calls for movie to be banned

https://ew.com/movies/clifford-the-big-red-dog-is-extremely-big-teaser-trailer/

 

Geez I remember that nite - Incident and a whole bunch of us sitting at our computers together thinking of you...those song list nights laughing my ass off.  The best....

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Fluffa Duffa having a cuddle 

3 weeks ago we houldn't pick her up

Now she is sleeping beside my pillow (Borris sleeps on me)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sorry im being a bit cheecky 

I dont have a cloud 

When we got the fridge replaced under warranty i couldn't get Borris' microchip number off it one piece 

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2 hours ago, AMIW said:

Why is this picture the right way up?

Because it documents a miracle between feline and Bruce-hating human :lol:

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5 hours ago, AMIW said:

Movie pulled from release schedule completely

Ning probably behind this move

 

Borris found a link bevause i was curious 

https://deadline.com/2021/07/clifford-the-big-red-dog-release-delayed-paramount-1234807014/

I wonder if it will still play here in theatres  - we just had the school holidays so they might hold it for the next ones

Loved the book as a wee girl

Not sure if Clifford sounded right (to me) as John Ritter but i still feel sad he won't be Clifford in this movie

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  • 2 weeks later...

Mommy the stray wild tom cat that lives behind the garden shed is home

He's been missing for over a week

I think ive grown fond of him

Any ideas of how to get him freindly enough to get into a cage for a trip to the vet ?

He looks in reasonable condition for possibly a week without food 

No word on where he has been and no hugs or kisses either 

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